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Friday, 10 July 2009

When you've been cheated on . . .

How do you move on when you've been cheated on? Assuming that the time you spent with the other person makes it worth staying with them after they cheat, how do you get past it? How do you trust that person again? They hurt you once . . . won't they just do it again? \
I'm in this position now, and I'm trying to get past it all, but honestly, every moment seems like I'm slipping two steps backward. I'll laugh and kiss him one minute, and then as soon as he leaves my presence, I'm paranoid. Where's he going? Who's he talking to? Why is it taking him so long to get home? Why isn't he calling me? What;s going on?
How do you get past it?

Saturday, 13 June 2009

A million hours left to think of you and think of that . . .

I will never be a part of your family.
You will never invite me along.
Your parents will never let you go.
You will never let go of your ex.
I will never be first.
My feelings will never be your first priority.
We may not make it to 22.

Monday, 08 June 2009

RAWR

How is it that you still want to be friends with someone you call a bitch? How is it that you can want to be friends with someone that EVERYONE calls a bitch? How can you want to be with someone who has done you NO good--who hasn't been there for you and hasn't loved you anywhere near how much I love you. How could you care for her emotions more than mine? I feel that I can't even trust you . . . you broke my heart and then I happen to find her name in your phone under just her last name--you HIDE her from me. You're cheating on me. . . .even if you don't think you are, I feel like you are. And how could you have more concern for her feelings than my own? How how how how how how?
Why could you still want to have a relationship with her? She'll never want to be friends and she will ALWAYS disrespect me and you.
Can't you just be there for me? I want to trust you so much, but I can't. I feel like you would go with her to be by yourselves and that she make a move on you and that you wouldn't be able to say NO and walk away. You will never ever be able to ignore her. Ever. You just don't have it in you. So I'm stuck with this bitch. Forever. And if I come second anymore.....I can't.
I need to know that you will say, "Don't say that about her!" Or "you don't know what you're talking about". I need to know that I come before her.

Thursday, 09 April 2009

Currently
In Between Dreams
By Jack Johnson
Better Together
see related
A million hours left to think of you and think of that . . .

100 Reasons Why I Love You:
1. You love me back
2. You hold my hand when we have sex.
3. You always get into the driver's seat, even when I don't ask.
4. You not only understand but appreciate my love for peanut butter.
5. You tell me that I look pretty even when I tell you to stop.
6. You bring me little presents that remind you of me.
7. You let me talk and talk and talk
8. You let me sing as loud as I need to when the mood strikes me
9. You understand that singing is my way out
10. You encourage me to be myself
11. You love my curly hair, even when it begins attacking
12. You love to read
13. Most of the time, you are honest with me
14. You love to write and be inspirational . . . if only you could share it
15. You kiss me in public
16. You are willing to make me happy however you can
17. You come to salsa lessons with me
18. You understand my lifestyle--and you also have it
19. I feel like you would still love me if I got pregnant
20. You are a handyman
21. You can give me my own private tour of the aquarium
22. You don't mind going to Walmart with me
23. You buy my bubble bath and sidewalk chalk as Christmas presents
24. You think my appearance is made better by removing my makeup and clothes
25. You notice things I don't expect you to--like my new earrings.
26. You call me Bumblebee.
27. You ask me to sing to you
28. You let me play your video games
29. You don't think I'm crazy for my beliefs--in fact, you tend to have some of them
30. You'll watch awful movies with me, even when I tell you they are awful.
31. You love my cooking
32. You deal with my pouting
33. You understand that, in my case, high maintnence means lots of attention
34. You occasionally kiss me like its the last time you will ever get to.
35. You are fantastic in bed
36. You never criticize me, even when the opportunity presents itself.
37. You understand that I remind you constantly because you have ADD, not because I'm nagging.
38. You make me feel like I deserve you
39. You like my family
40. (I thought) You put my needs first
41. You don't mind that I have 10 second dance parties...consistently.
42. You never ask me if you can do something during sex....you just do it and judge my reactions.
43. You will dance with me in front of people, even when you look like an idiot
44. You will still open my door for me
45. You understand that I act like a 4 yr old as a defense mechanism
46. You don't demean my choice to be an early childhood education
47. You never make me feel like I'm stupid
48. When I cry, you (usually) hold me in your arms and let me
49. You're honest (I already said this, but it is so important I need to count it twice)
50. You know that "No" during tickle-time really means yes
51. You'll rub my feet after work--even when they stink
52. You never EVER pretended that my fear of "the hole" was irrational
53. You aren't afraid to resort to retardedness to make me smile
54. You have my health in your mind
55. You told me I was the girl you wanted to marry (and I think you meant it)
56. You know that things that are important in my life
57. You want to have a family
58. You believe a family includes pets
59. You don't think I'm silly for wearing flip flops
60. You let me hog the water in the shower
61. You will take a bath with me
62. You will cook me dinner if I ask
63. You have similar goals in life
64. You don't smoke
65. You are a fun drunk
66. You managed to suprise me
67. You know that I cry, not out of pain, but because of beauty
68. You also find solace from Brain Andreas
69. You change the cat box so I don't have to
70. When we had the puppies, you didn't get mad at me for being sad when they left
71. You allow that my judgement is mine--even if it is flawed
72. You never let me take the easy way out if I can make it through the harder patch
73. Your idea of a date consisted of sitting on the floor listening to music
74. You . . . number 73 was probably one of the best nights of my life
75. You know that money isn't everything
76. You let me look at the baby clothes
77. You buy my stuffed animals because they make me so happy--even though you hate them
78. You don't compare me to others
79. You don't back down. You participate in arguments.
80. You'll take the long way around if I ask.
81. You are always a gentleman.
82. You are my certified handyman.
83. All of my friends think you are so adorable.
84. You understand that animals are a way of life.
85. You will let me snuggle under the covers, complain about how cold I am, and still let me leave the fan on.
86. You karaoke with me because it makes me happy.
87. You humanely kill mice.
88. You like it rough
89. I said what what (in da butt) as well as doin da butt
90. "I met this little gurlie, her hair was kinda curly . . ." :)
91. You hold me close when we have to discuss things that are difficult
92. Whenever we DO fight, we always do it when we can touch
93. You indulge my ice cream desires
94. You are always considerate at "that time" of month.
95. You love Pals just as much as I do.
96. You also love La Belle Dame sans Merci
97. You like to drink with me
98. You steal popcorn seasoning for me from the theaters.
99. When I go away, you kiss my like you can't believe I'm back.
100. I love you . . . because I love you. Because I can't see my future without you and because I feel like you would fight for us too. I love you because you know that this is hard work, but you aren't so scared that you run away. I love you . . . because I want to. I love you.